I mean, I know all the 12-step suggestions and a lot of the psychology industry's approaches, and I guess they work as well as possible, but when you're a caretaker/fixer like me, none of it works well enough on such situations.
What situations, you ask?
Well, how about some puzzling behavior on the part of your husband that has as its only likely explanation young-onset Alzheimer's? Or how about a beloved 5 year old granddaughter who is hitting and jabbing other kids with her pencil--at a Montessori school chosen over day care because she got so bored at daycare? She is a complicated, emotionally needy (or maybe greedy is the more appropriate word) who is usually verbally advanced, but whose only explanation for being sent home from school today for stabbing kids with her pencil was "I'm tired."
How can my heart not ache for her and him and me and the potentially difficult futures we may all face?
I know, but I've just never been very good at denial. It was too dangerous in my growing-up household, which I learned by being oblivious and then being blindsided.
Okay, okay, you're right. Detachment isn't denial. Accepting what you can't change, that's good, too. One Day at a Time, Let Go and Let God, the Serenity Prayer, etc., etc. If only they were permanent fixes, but they're not.
Not when I'm in FEAR--Future Events Appearing Real.
The solution to fear is faith. It's just kind of slippery right now, hard to hold onto!
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